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Heavy Depression Help - Friend

19 posts in this topic

Posted · Report post

Ok, so I've recently discovered (2 days ago) that a friend of mine hasn't gone to school for 5 weeks. He's missed all of his half yearly's and a couple of his Assignments. When i tried to contact him over steam/facebook, i'd remembered he hadn't been replying lateley and once again, i got nothing. I gave him a call after finding his phone number(He moved to Sydney[3 hr drive] abit over a year ago and i didnt see/talk to him enough to remember his new number), His mum answered and i asked if he was there and she didn't seem even the slightest enthusiastic about anything so I instantly knew something was up, when he gave him the phone, he was very quiet and sounded extremely sad.Me - Hello?Him - o, hey.Me - How's it goin' man, long time no talk huh?Him - ye, i guess.Me - So i was talking to Lawrence, and apparently you haven't turned up to school for 5 weeks, whats up?Him - just...things i guess...Me - ...What kind of things man, we can talk about it if you want.Him - Um, just things...I dunno, i dont really feel like talking right now...Me - Um, alright man i'll let you get some rest (At 4pm?), but talk to me later about it k?Him - ...Me - Orite man?Him - uhMe - *Sigh*, alright man, i'll catcha later...The day after(Today), a friend of mine told me that she tried to call him too and that his mum said he was seriously depressed about something, but wouldn't tell her what and instead said she had to go and hung up the phone.I'm seriously concerned about him, so I've added half of his year on Facebook and they all know him, but they don't know what had happened TO him.Any advice, anything that could make him talk or anything that might of happened that you can think of?

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Posted · Report post

My friend uses pills, they help.

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Posted · Report post

My friend uses pills, they help.

That would be an excellent idea, but his mum is a bit too nice...

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Posted · Report post

Thats a real shit situation man :(I had a friend who was in deep depression about a year ago, he also didn't go to school...I remember we helped him by getting a bunch of mates (20+) and we all went to his house, turned up at his door, told him to get ready and come out... when he saw us all he was happy as anything...We took him to a party, and he had a good time...I know this doesn't apply to you because he lives far away...Only advice i could give is to try and take his mind off of whatever it is that is depressing him...gl bro.

Forever and Tripication like this

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Posted · Report post

You should be VERY good friends if you want he tells you all. When my grandpa and grandma passed away i hadn't talked to anyone for a month and noone of my friends still don't know why.

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Posted · Report post

You should be VERY good friends if you want he tells you all. When my grandpa and grandma passed away i hadn't talked to anyone for a month and noone of my friends still don't know why.

I've been great friends with him since Year 4 (8 years) and he hasn't spoken to ANYONE about it, but I was in very much the same position as you were. When i was 9, my grandmother passed away thanks to cancer and I wouldn't speak to anyone for a couple of weeks. When holidays came i lightened up abit and by the time i got to school again, no one had even remembered my non-social episode, let alone the week i was away to go to her funeral. But I see where you're coming from, and i'm hoping to try something similar to Josh. I'm organizing a night out at a friends that lives in sydney so that we can go pick him up, get hammered and hopefully he will cheer up abit, but i want to know why he's depressed first, otherwise it could be completeley out of context and possibly make him hate me...If it's serious enough.

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Posted · Report post

But I see where you're coming from, and i'm hoping to try something similar to Josh. I'm organizing a night out at a friends that lives in sydney so that we can go pick him up, get hammered and hopefully he will cheer up abit, but i want to know why he's depressed first, otherwise it could be completeley out of context and possibly make him hate me...If it's serious enough.

Good plan my friend, you never know, i always open up more when im drunk, he may do the same!

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Posted · Report post

Thanks for the help guys, appreciate it^^

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Posted · Report post

Forget about pills man, you dont want him to get addicted to those. Go over to his place, sit down with him, ask him whats the matter. See if you guys can go out with some other friends and watch Avengers or some other movie. Go do something fun like smoking weed or drinking or something, ask him whats wrong. He may have girl problems or school or just life in general.Good Luck.

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Posted · Report post

Forget about pills man, you dont want him to get addicted to those. Go over to his place, sit down with him, ask him whats the matter. See if you guys can go out with some other friends and watch Avengers or some other movie. Go do something fun like smoking weed or drinking or something, ask him whats wrong. He may have girl problems or school or just life in general. Good Luck.

Trust this man Seriously, i hope he doesn't start using those shitty pills, all they do is make it worse Good luck man

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Posted · Report post

Ok, i'll keep all of these options in mind and choose what one will be the best when I figure out his condition, Thanks again for the help.

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This issue HAS been solved, I spoke to my friend and it turned out he's been seeing a Psycologist, probably going to give up on school and start going to TAFE and is feeling better in general. I told him we(A few mates of mine) were going to pick him up either this weekend or next and we'll go out for a bit of a drink somewhere.Once again, thank you for all the help.

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Posted · Report post

This issue HAS been solved, I spoke to my friend and it turned out he's been seeing a Psycologist, probably going to give up on school and start going to TAFE and is feeling better in general. I told him we(A few mates of mine) were going to pick him up either this weekend or next and we'll go out for a bit of a drink somewhere. Once again, thank you for all the help.

I would be cautious with the drinking... Alcohol is a depressant and for someone coming out of a depression might not be the best idea, but it depends on the person. Also he was skipping school and avoiding people for a reason so bombarding him with people might be a bit much. I would suggest just keep it mellow and letting him know he has friends and yadda yadda. ANYWAYSSSS yay! you're a good friend.
Forever likes this

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Posted · Report post

I would be cautious with the drinking... Alcohol is a depressant and for someone coming out of a depression might not be the best idea, but it depends on the person. Also he was skipping school and avoiding people for a reason so bombarding him with people might be a bit much. I would suggest just keep it mellow and letting him know he has friends and yadda yadda. ANYWAYSSSS yay! you're a good friend.

I also thought about that, but i have been around him drunk before and he seemed happy, plus he seemed pretty keen over the idea. I might get a bit of weed instead, depending on how he's feeling at the time and we'll chill out with that and hope it takes a bit more of a stimulant effect^^.
Dianeosaur likes this

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Honestly, if you're actually a good friend, you wouldnt suggest drinking or drugs. How can you think that pushing someone who is severely depressed and seeing a physhiatrist, and who should actually be on some kind of pill,to drink or do drugs, is a good idea? That's the perfect person to become an addict of some sort. I know that people are saying "No, pills are bad", but true depression, is a chemical imbalance in the body/brain. Sometimes, to get better, people need that chemical replaced. To say "No pills but yes to drugs and alchohol" to a depressed person, is insane to me. Sure getting wasted will make him "happy"... temporarily. What happens when it wears off? He's going to need it again... and again.. and again. That's what addicts do. And that's your solution...

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Honestly, if you're actually a good friend, you wouldnt suggest drinking or drugs. How can you think that pushing someone who is severely depressed and seeing a physhiatrist, and who should actually be on some kind of pill,to drink or do drugs, is a good idea? That's the perfect person to become an addict of some sort. I know that people are saying "No, pills are bad", but true depression, is a chemical imbalance in the body/brain. Sometimes, to get better, people need that chemical replaced. To say "No pills but yes to drugs and alchohol" to a depressed person, is insane to me. Sure getting wasted will make him "happy"... temporarily. What happens when it wears off? He's going to need it again... and again.. and again. That's what addicts do. And that's your solution...

As much as i'd like to agree with you, (And yes, I did forgot about this thread) I'm going to have to say you were wrong.

5 mates, him and I all went out into town, got a little pissed and he opened right up to us, he let people help him out for once and although he was hesitant at first, all it took was a few shots of gin to get a smile on his face and to start talking.

He's not a stupid kid, TBH, he's alot more intelligent than I am and he's always made the right decision wherever he can (The drinking idea...he didn't really have a decision with that...we kind of showed up on his doorstep and dragged him out of his house...) and he knows that drinking wont be a common decision in his life, but it helped him out.

He's started socializing, having fun, dropped school and started taking IT in TAFE AND he has a girlfriend now.

He couldn't seem more happy right now and I'm more than glad to know that the night turned out better than I expected but in the end, all it took was a little optimism, time and money. But that was something I was willing to give him.

I know there were risks in the planning, and we all knew that if we were going to do this, we WERE prepared to take these risks.

Thank you for all of your help and Ideas.

Solved. /close please

EDIT: And as for the reason he fell into depression, It's kind of a personal matter and he's glad he told people about it, but I can see why he didn't want us to know in the first place. That was just one of the risks he decided to take.

He's been fine for over a month now, and I haven't seen him happier in my entire life.

RodasAPC likes this

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One of the coolest stories I've heard online in the last couple years or so.I don't know you, and I'll probably never meet you. But the fact that you care about your friend, even tough he moved away and stopped saying anything makes me think of you as a bro.I've been depressed before and you wouldn't believe how hard it was to come back on my own, I know how much your friend needed what you were willing to give to him. You've earned my respect and +1 Internets.

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As much as i'd like to agree with you, (And yes, I did forgot about this thread) I'm going to have to say you were wrong. 5 mates, him and I all went out into town, got a little pissed and he opened right up to us, he let people help him out for once and although he was hesitant at first, all it took was a few shots of gin to get a smile on his face and to start talking. He's not a stupid kid, TBH, he's alot more intelligent than I am and he's always made the right decision wherever he can (The drinking idea...he didn't really have a decision with that...we kind of showed up on his doorstep and dragged him out of his house...) and he knows that drinking wont be a common decision in his life, but it helped him out. He's started socializing, having fun, dropped school and started taking IT in TAFE AND he has a girlfriend now. He couldn't seem more happy right now and I'm more than glad to know that the night turned out better than I expected but in the end, all it took was a little optimism, time and money. But that was something I was willing to give him. I know there were risks in the planning, and we all knew that if we were going to do this, we WERE prepared to take these risks. Thank you for all of your help and Ideas. Solved. /close please EDIT: And as for the reason he fell into depression, It's kind of a personal matter and he's glad he told people about it, but I can see why he didn't want us to know in the first place. That was just one of the risks he decided to take. He's been fine for over a month now, and I haven't seen him happier in my entire life.

Good job man, pleased for you and your friend!

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Excellent news, kinda disappointed I didn't see this thread earlie, would have loved to help out any way I couldClosed on request (:

Tripication likes this

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